Creativity as a lifeline
When life hands you lemons, you’re supposed to make lemonade. But how do you actually switch your mindset to get going after a traumatic event? When we are down, it is so difficult to see a way forward, out of the darkness and into the lemonade making process.
In these moments, creativity seems to be what I am drawn to. Crafting and learning new things helped me to recover from both long-term stress and a sudden shock — dealing with some of life’s lemons.
A slow burn
Last summer, I felt good and hopeful. I had spoken up about a long-term situation at work, which affected me negatively, and they were going to change things. But they didn’t. As summer turned into autumn, it became increasingly clear that the status quo served everyone — except me. And so, my hopefulness turned into hopelessness.
My body is always the first to react. I got a random set of physical symptoms that made no sense other than my body telling me something was off. I was struggling and the mental stress had turned into physical stress. When the GP finally gave me four weeks of sick leave, I was well on my way to burnout or worse.
The first week I spent resting, dealing with the insurance and finding a therapist. But within days of calmness setting in, I noticed my craving for creative outlets slowly coming back. At first, I dived back into pasta making. Something I did before and knew a little bit about already. Yet, I took it slow and reread the instructions for all steps — kneading the dough, rolling it out, forming the shapes. I made mistakes but it still tasted delicious and filled me.
As I slowly regained my energy (both physically and mentally), I wanted to learn new crafts, and so I signed up for a pottery workshop. Or was it the other way around? That I regained my energy because I was spending time being creative and learning new crafts?
Usually, knitting is my go-to creative outlet. But after coming close to a burnout, knitting was not what I needed. It had to be something new. Something where I wouldn’t risk falling into the trap of production or expecting perfection. I allowed myself to just play and make mistakes in a way I wouldn’t be able to accept in my knitting.
Breakups shock
“The question how do I get back to my centre was something I knew how to answer: I went back to my creativity.”
More recently, I experienced a more sudden shock to the system, when someone I was getting to know didn’t turn out to be the person I thought they were. Sure, you could argue, isn’t that the whole point of getting to know someone? And yes, it is.
But for me, it was the big change from sparks flying to completely disappearing, which was hard to process. The fall was as steep as it was sudden.
At first, I didn’t even recognize what was happening. In fact, it was my therapist who pointed out to me that I had just experienced a shock when I was sitting on her couch crying: “I am so confused! I don’t know what to do!” I had been knocked off my centre and lost my balance.
I realised that the feelings were similar to what I experienced last autumn, that only the trigger was more abrupt. And the question how do I get back to my centre was something I knew how to answer: I went back to my creativity.
In this instance, it was knitting small and simple projects that helped me deal with the breakup. A quick, silky Sophie scarf and the most colourful socks in my tried-and-tested toe up technique helped me process what happened, my emotions around it, and a way forward.
Finding back to balance
For me, creativity is the key to bring me back to balance. Whether it is learning a new craft or remaking familiar knitting projects, creativity helps me when life hands me lemons. My lemonade is fresh, homemade pasta. It’s a set of new socks. It’s new skills and (a lot of) new mugs and bowls.
Being creative calms me down. Working with my hands and using all of my senses turns off my overly active mind. Learning a new craft forces me to focus on the one thing right in front of me. All of these fill my cup immeasurably. There isn’t much else that makes me feel as powerful and fulfilled as creativity.
Creativity truly is my lifeline.
Some reflection
What gives you energy? What drains your energy?
What is your relationship to and with creativity?
What are your creative outlets?
Where do you let yourself play? Make for the sake of learning and pleasure rather than producing something?
“Creativity truly is my lifeline.”