Brave or stupid - On the big and small decisions of life

It snowed a bit in Copenhagen. Enough to dust the city in white and turn the roads and cycling paths into a more or less slippery slush. It was sunny now and since cycling is my number one mode of transport here, I had decided to take the bike. (I was also too late for my appointment to change my mind and take the metro instead.)

While I was treading along slowly, carefully looking ahead and bracing the wind gusts, a thought popped into my head: Was I brave or stupid to cycle in these conditions? Brave or stupid — you may not think it, but they can actually be closely related. Often the interpretation of a situation just depends on your outlook, how you are raised, your momentary anxiety levels or general emotional wellbeing on a particular day.

Life’s Metaphor

And if this was a metaphor for my life: Am I brave or stupid for quitting my well-paid job and pursue a self-employed writing career? Most people, I told about this, told me that I am courageous taking that step. That it is a good, albeit hard, thing putting your mental health first.

Maybe it has to do with the fact that I was — and am — so sure of my decision. I feel a sense of security within me that it is the right next step for me. Maybe I exuded this when I spoke about it. Maybe it was the fact my vision board for 2024 asked: „What do you want to be?“ and answered: „Brave.“

Whatever it was, I feel good about the decision. Like I finally listened to what I really wanted. Not what I needed, because that changed. Ten years ago I needed safety and stability in a way only employment and a stable income could offer. But needs change. At least mine did.

“I worry that I don’t worry!”

To be fair, I feel good about it most days, not always. I can’t even bring myself to call it (or me) brave. But I know it wasn’t stupid. It can’t be stupid if it was right in some capacity. And that it was. Of course, there are moments where I feel anxious. Where the unknown of the future weighs heavier on me. But as I said to a few friends and family, who have supported me in the last few months in arriving at this decision: „I worry that I don’t worry.“ Because with my mindset from ten years ago, I would worry. A lot.

I suppose this is a sign that not only my needs changed, but I did too. And I feel like I am still going through a massive transformation right now. It is like a pull towards more independence, freedom and flexibility. Away from having to ask for a day off and having my daily life determined by someone else. Or is it the culmination of many little changes over the years? I don’t know yet and might not have the answer for while. But does it matter?

What matters is that I trust I made the right decision. And that I do. Maybe that is what the braveness boils down to: trusting yourself.

What’s next then?

So, you might wonder, what is it that she will actually do? It is a good question to which I only have a partial answer. (Again something I trust myself to figure it out with time.) First and foremost, I will focus on growing this blog. More interviews, more articles, more visibility and a bigger audience are my rough goals. I will also freelance with various organisations and companies on writing assignments. I plan to register a company to bring it all together — including a lot of ideas I am not ready to share yet, but bring me a lot of excitement right now. So definitely watch this space! :)